You may have detected a theme to this week’s posts in praise of SKINNY: this book is special. Now, all of the Muses’ books are special. Seriously. But there’s something which resonates in SKINNY that’s truly amazing. I guess you could say in the spirit of Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz, “There’s something about SKINNY.”

I first got to read the opening pages of Skinny when Donna was feverishly working on the rest of the manuscript.  Like the others, I was blown away. And honestly, this is impressive because I like contemporary girl self-growth novels even less than I like historical romances (I respect them, I just don’t enjoy many of them). It had all the elements of a good story…instant tension, a likeable/flawed main character, and a fantastic voice.

Except there was more. Something else. Like a song that goes on brain-repeat, the story stuck in my head. Though I couldn’t identify why. The following Spring, once Donna was ready for beta-readers, I dug into the manuscript and, good Lord, ‘the something’ got stronger culminating in this beautiful, tear-jerk of a scene. (I mean, not that I cried, seriously…stop staring at me).

And I wasn't the only one who felt it. As she sent out queries, the responding agents fervor was mind-boggling. No one was surprised when the manuscript went to auction. Or was presented at the BEA Buzz panels. Of course, editors and industry professionals would feel ‘the something’ of SKINNY like all the rest had. Even now, as I read reviews of the book, I nod my head and think, “yep, this reviewer felt ‘the something’ too.”

As I planned how to write this post, one question kept popping up: What is ‘the something’ about SKINNY?

And I think I figured it out.

I’m not unique in mentioning the fact that everyone has this blasted voice telling us we aren’t this…or we’re too much of that. While this is a universal – almost primal – shared human experience, ‘the something’ of SKINNY is even more.

What Donna does is personify this self doubt into a goth pixie. She gives insecurities a voice, a face, and an attitude. And I found that it’s much easier to tell an imaginary fairy to shut the hell up, than it is to tell a vague, faceless voice that sounds just like you.

In fact, when I’m being particularly hard on myself, I’ll email the Muses, “Skinny’s screaming is all I hear today.” Within minutes they respond with, “Tell that biz-nitch to shut up.” (or something significantly more eloquent, but you get the idea).

It doesn’t always quiet her down for long, but sometimes just a few minutes of silence is all I need to rally. And that is ‘something’ I’ll forever be thankful to SKINNY for teaching me.

One of my best friends likes to say that every creative idea exists, in the Universe, as a complete and perfect entity. When we sit down to write or paint or compose a song, the ideal, flawless execution of that creative impulse is out there already. It’s just waiting for us to uncover it. For the right time, the right circumstances, to come together like pieces of a puzzle, forming a perfect whole.

There was no waiting with SKINNY.

I remember reading the first chapter, well before Donna had completed a full draft, and thinking, this already feels complete. This feels like it already exists. Ever was breathing in those pages, a beautifully drawn character with a real, significant struggle to overcome. I saw the story unfolding before my eyes, by page five, and I wanted to be a part of it through to the end. Because I am a part of it. We all are.

Raise your hand if you’re not insecure about something.

I thought so.

SKINNY is a story for anyone who has ever struggled with negative voices around you--and more importantly, in your head. Through Ever's journey, we are given such an entertaining and honest example of battling that negativity; her triumph could hardly be more moving or inspiring.

I am so very proud of my dear friend, Donna. She is such a talent, a character herself, funny as the Dickens, with a smile that’s so contagious, you’d need a HAZMAT suit to resist it, and heart that (I can actually use this cliché for her) is as big as Texas.

I am so proud of her. And I’m so happy, for all of us, that this incredible story exists.

Go, SKINNY!

Donna signing SKINNY at BEA

I was able to get VIP access to give her a hug.
(Thank you, Aimee!)

Like Katherine, I will never forget the first moment that Donna read from those first few pages of SKINNY.  I don't think those pages have changed much from the original draft to the published book. They were pretty much perfect, and Katy and I immediately knew it.

Before I knew anything about the plot, I knew that SKINNY was the one.  Why?  Because I cared what happened to Ever from the first page.  The first paragraph.  The first line.  Donna had tapped into something so personal, so moving and so damn relateable that I would have followed Ever anywhere.

A few months later, the Muses were at our first writing retreat, and we were talking about our next projects and sharing scenes we had written.  I don't know if Donna was having second thoughts about SKINNY, but she had another project she was thinking of writing, and she wanted our opinion on which project she should focus on.  Now Donna is a talented writer, and the other project was good, but we all felt very strongly that SKINNY was the book Donna had to write.  I don't know how to explain it, but I felt that story.  And I think Donna did too.  Which might be why she had second thoughts about writing it.  Because to write that story, Donna would have to slice open a vein and bleed on the page. 

Of course, Donna did write SKINNY, and I still remember the weekend she sent over the manuscript.  I tore into it, reading it from cover to cover in a one sitting. SKINNY was funny and uplifting and it made me cry in all the best ways.  But more than that, it made me think.

It made me think about how I'd let my own version of Skinny keep me from going after things that I wanted.  SKINNY was more than a story about a girl who takes control of her weight- it was a story of something far more universal, a story of a girl who takes control of herself, a story of inner transformation. Of silencing self doubt.  Of daring to dream. It was a book that spoke to my heart, because it came directly from Donna's.

And that's what SKINNY taught me about writing.  Bleed on the page.  Tell the story that only you can tell.  The characters and plot might be fiction, but the feelings, the feelings have to be real.

SKINNY is a special book, and I am so thrilled to share it with the world.

 [Pictures courtesy of Nancy from The Ravenous Reader]

Two years ago, I attended the Annual Summer Conference of the SCBWI in Los Angeles with the Muses.  We hadn’t seen each other since meeting at the Big Sur workshop critique table in December, but we’d already shared a lot – manuscripts, joys, setbacks, dreams.  And we were about to share a lot more.

That weekend – all four hectic, crazy days of it – was magic.  Talking with Talia about her new agent.  Dancing with all the Muses at the big Saturday night party.  Sharing a room with Veronica while she rode the crazy fairy tale roller coaster that marked the beginning of the publication story of Under the Never Sky.

But one of the best moments was quiet.  And perfect.  Talia, Donna and I met up in Talia’s hotel room to brainstorm and share ideas and workshop pages.  Talia read a little of what would eventually become SPIES AND PREJUDICE and we discussed plot points.

And then Donna read what would become the first pages of SKINNY.  I could tell how strongly Donna felt about it just from the way she spoke.  She was tentative, in the way someone might be talking about a huge crush.  So much feeling behind it, but also a little fear.  Longing, belief that it’s the right thing, but leaping into something powerful – and potentially emotionally explosive.

Donna read those first pages and I remember silence.  I felt the prickle of tears behind my eyes – the sense of being in the room with greatness.  That wonderful, devastating feeling of wishing I could write something like that – something heartfelt and funny and beautiful and relatable and impactful.  And the pure, singular knowledge that this was a book Donna Cooner could kick the ass out of, that she could do it so well and so vividly that people would read into it their own stories, their own fears and their own desire for change.

Two weeks ago, Talia generously invited us all to read and answer questions at her launch party for SILVER.  Donna got trapped at the airport and then fell prey to the impossible parking situation in downtown Davis.  She arrived breathless and a little flustered, and she arrived with a finished copy of SKINNY.  Seeing that book made real affected me as much as seeing my own.  It’s the culmination of our time together, in a way.  The first book that we’ve seen travel from inception to conclusion, because all the others had been started (or even written) before we met.  It is also a perfect and beautiful result of all of Donna’s hard work and personal journey.

That night, Donna read the first pages of SKINNY, and transported me back to that hotel room in the summer of 2010.  Those pages still give me shivers, and still make me cry.  I’m not embarrassed to admit that when Donna read the final pages of SKINNY that night, they made me cry even harder.  Because Ever’s story is my story – though I’ve never been overweight, I’ve never had life-altering surgery, I’ve never been able to sing a note.  My Skinny attacks with equal viciousness and precision.  But Ever’s story gives me hope.  I read into it my own story, my own fears, and my own desire for change.  It’s a personal story, but one that I think will affect us all personally.  And I am so thrilled that the rest of you can now experience it, too.

Congratulations, Donna.  Love you.

Four Muses on the shelf at Barnes and Noble

Today, October 1st, is the official launch day of SKINNY into the world.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel, but you name it and I'm probably feeling it.

Happyexcitednervousnostalgicgratefulscaredproudterrifiedthankfulecstatic

My pre-launch weekend was a fantastic, surreal weekend at the Anderson's YA Book Conference in the Chicago area.  Here are the highlights:

I had my first official school visit with four hundred eighth graders in a cafeteria right after a fire drill.

I spoke to wonderful, engaged kids about serious issues of self concept.

I autographed lots of real books for people who weren't even related to me.

I saw (and introduced myself to) an adorable eighth grade girl reading my book at a coffee shop in Winnetka, IL.

Me, Maggie  Steifvater, David Levithan, Sharon Cameron, and Raina Telgemeier

David Levithan compared SKINNY to his incredible, best selling book, EVERY DAY, in his keynote address.

How lucky was I, a debut author, to be featured with THREE Scholastic authors currently on the bestseller list? (Maggie Steifvater, David Levithan and Raina Telgemeier)

I was driven around Chicago in a black town car with my super attentive publicist by my side in the back seat.  (There was also this really cool penguin martini shaker, but it didn't have anything in it.  I checked.)

One eighth grade girl asked, "Is the SKINNY voice still in your head?  Did it go away?"  and I said, "It never goes away.  I have to keep fighting it.  Every single day.  Some days it's screaming.  Other days it's just a whisper.  But it's still there...and now I know it lies."

My first sight of SKINNY on the shelf!

I'm so grateful for this journey and hope, if you're anywhere near Fort Collins, Colorado this weekend, you will join The Muses and me to celebrate at the Beach House Grill on Saturday, October 6 from 4-6 pm.  There will be champagne, cupcakes, and snacks.  Books will be sold by The Old Firehouse Books.