Happy Halloween! This week we take a look behind the curtain and reveal our scariest writing fears. Join us if you dare...

I'm on a plane again this week traveling to Idaho first and then down to Houston to join the Muses in a Storymasters Workshop with the always fabulous Lorin Oberweger. In the midst of all this traveling, I'm waiting on copyedits for SKINNY to arrive and contemplating book two (there should be some kind of "duh duh duh" scary sound effect for the mere mention of book two, but we will get to that later). Needless to say, it isn't hard for me to come up with scary writing fears. I'm full of them.

1. It won't happen. Not the book, the agent or the big deal. I'm talking at the word and sentence level here. Or even more on the idea level. What if it just won't come? That's probably the number one fear every single time I sit down before a blank screen. What if this time... and the next time... and the time after that... it just won't happen. And I'll NEVER write anything ever again. (Booktwobooktwobooktwo)

2. What if it sucks and I know it? I've had many a writing day that ends with the cursor moving backwards over my hard work, thankfully erasing it from human view forever. Sometimes it goes even further and I take the working pages to a critique group to read aloud. It goes over like a lead balloon. I can feel the interest drain away from listeners as I plow through the pages. It's awful. And I know it. (Booktwobooktwobooktwo)

3. What if it sucks and I don't know it? An even worse fear for me than the one above, is the idea I might write something and I don't have a clue it's horrible. What if I take it to a group to read aloud and don't hear the message it's awful? What if I send it out to a broader audience? To an editor or an agent? All the while oblivious to the reality. (Booktwobooktwobooktwo)

5. What if I can't do it again? SKINNY has received such an amazing welcome into the world. People connect with this story in ways that constantly surprise me. I'm thrilled they love it so much. Really I am. But now it's time to move on, and I want to write a second book that is just as well received and just as loved. It's the second book terror and I know I'm not the only one going through it. (Booktwobooktwobooktwo)

4. What if I lose my support? I am so fortunate to have amazing support for my writing life. The Muses are definitely part of that support system, but I also have other wonderfully wise writer friends, a group at work that is constantly cheering me on, and an incredibly supportive family. I also have the top agent in the country and an extremely talented editor. They all help me keep my perspective and are an honest sounding board for all my fears. I have no doubt I would not be writing today if that support system didn't exist, so the idea of losing it would definitely send me off the fear cliff.

There's a good thing about talking about fear. It doesn't seem nearly so scary once you've said it out loud. In looking back over my list, I can easily recognize the absurdity of some. Others I know are shared by many. The fears are probably here to stay, but I'm not alone. The truth is, we writers are a pretty paranoid lot. But it's going to be all okay. And to prove it, in the middle of writing this blog about all my fears, I received this link to this fabulous blog post from Saundra Mitchell and, guess what? I'm NORMAL!!

Check it out.

The Muses set the bar high this week. How’s Mr. Friday supposed to follow Brodi, the GILT cover, and a decade-long love story? I’m pulling out the big guns – I’m talking about some of the authors who’ve influenced me profoundly and personally: The Muses.

These four authors have taken me under their wings and taught me more about the craft of writing and the art of being an author than anything my deranged imagination could’ve conjured. Here are a few (of the countless) things I’ve gleaned from them:

Donna might’ve walked off her own page. She and her characters buzz with life. They’re wickedly funny and wonderfully endearing. You root for them from the moment you meet. They’re real. They’re touching. From her I know that karma is alive and well within children’s literature. That you can take beating after beating, but as long as you keep picking yourself up, things WILL get better. And with the right idea, the right passion, and the right amount of laughter, you can make the impossible seem scarily simple.

Katy (or Katherine if you want to use her authorial name) is a master of detail. Her most informal emails are eloquent and nearly perfect in every regard. Her thoroughness is astounding. She’s shown me that worlds are built one brick at a time, the meekest of characters have sharp tongues inside their heads, and with a good dose of passion (combined with healthy talent) you can sell a debut book (or three) in any friggin’ genre you want. It’s okay if not everyone gets what you’re doing, but soon enough, they will. Plus, she’s sweeter than cotton candy. Except the sugar is just a coating, underneath she’s unwavering, adventurous, and tough.

Talia is beyond compare. She never, ever gives up and is fiercely loyal. And, literally, I don’t think there’s a person alive who is more excited about children’s literature – from reading to writing to knowing which editor is with which publisher. This energy is as contagious as Ebola. Just try and have a conversation with her without walking away pumped about being able to participate in this industry. In terms of craft, Talia’s lawyer-mind shines as a beacon of logic for my own engineer-brain. She’s able to boil stories, characters, and acts into these beautiful (that’s right, beautiful) outlines and checklists. She’s brilliant. Period.

Veronica is a walking graduate course in writing fiction. If there’s a craft book out there, she’s read it. If there’s a theory on structure, she knows it. I try to follow her around like she’s Socrates, absorbing information in her aura. And the thing is, folks, she applies it all. Her sense of story and world are staggering. She’s gone beyond tension on every page and seems to be experimenting with tension in every punctuation mark (when I figure out how she does it, I’ll let you know). Boy, can she work hard, and you pretty much have to threaten her with violence to hear a complaint. Veronica handles the world with grace and refreshing optimism.

Most of all, The Muses have influenced me as a group. They’ve taught me the importance of staying positive in a world filled with boo-hooers. That I have to listen to my friends, but follow my gut. And while writing may feel close to solitary confinement, it’s really a team sport.

I sure feel lucky to have them drop their weekly insights, huh?

YAH Muses! 

Rah! Rah! Rah! 

Paul Cezanne, Painter at Work

When I was in art school, I had a painting instructor who worked very quickly. Like me, he could finish a large canvas in one furious non-stop day. Unlike me, he charged upwards of thousands of dollars for such paintings.

Once, we talked about the relationship between time and cost. People want to measure price with something tangible, like hours of effort. It makes sense, right? A large part of our workforce is paid by hourly wage, but this same model is problematic when quantifying art. This particular instructor had spent thirty years perfecting his drawing skills, and practicing painting. He’d lived in Europe, which he claimed to be formative to his craft. He had mentored with a famous photographer, another formative experience. He had fallen in love, and had his heart-broken, and fallen back in love again. And his point was that the day he spent on that large canvas was a sum of all of his experiences. His answer when asked how long a painting took him? A lifetime and a day.

That’s a rather long way of saying that I believe, as artists, writers, singers—as people—we bring the whole of us to everything we do. Looked at that way, my writing influences range from an early childhood in Brazil, all the way to the walk I took around the neighborhood this morning, shuffling through a blanket of leaves here in Northern California. We are the sum of all our experiences.

Now that I’ve gotten all Wayne Dyer on you, I’ll be a little more specific about my reading tastes & influences:

LOYALTY:  I’m very loyal to authors I admire. I adore Jane Austen (Persuasion is my favorite). Kristin Cashore, MT Anderson, George RR Martin, Laini Taylor, Dave Eggers, Holly Black, Neal Shusterman… I will follow them anywhere.

OBSESSION: My most reread book is The Count of Monte Cristo, by far.

VARIETY: Sometimes, I like a ripping fast and fun read, like say a Nelson DeMille book. Sometimes, I like something totally off my usual radar. This spring, I read Matterhorn, an 800 page novel about the Vietnam War. Not my usual thing, but I thought it was brilliant. I’ll go from non-fiction to beef up the old gray matter, to indulging in a straight-up great romance, like ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS. I like variety. It makes me happy.

PATTERN: I have always loved speculative fiction; it’s the one constant in my reading habits. When I read ENDER’S GAME many years ago, I couldn’t read another book for months afterward because I wanted to hold onto the aftertaste of that mind-blowing and truly unique novel. I went through all of Tolkein in high school, and then George RR Martin in college. I mixed books on Arthurian legend like Mary Stewart’s THE CRYSTAL CAVE throughout both. Pullman’s HIS DARK MATERIALS trilogy swept me away, as did Lian Hearn’s TALES OF THE OTORI. A recent favorite fantasy novel is DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE by Laini Taylor. Transport me to another world and give me real character drama and action, and I’m there. Throw in a great romance and beautiful writing, and I’ve got all I need.

Those are some of my influences. What about you? What book have you reread more than any other? What’s the flavor you just can’t do without when you pick up a book?

BOOKANISTAS

It's Bookanista Thursday, so check out these rec's if you're looking for your next read!

Elana Johnson REVEALS something awesome!!!

LiLa Roecker  announces a winner - plus a Past Midnight series giveaway

Christine Fonseca  reveals books she cannot wait to read

Beth Revis interviews My Very UnFairytale Life author Anna Staniszewski

Shannon Whitney Messenger interviews Skyship Academy-Pearl Wars author Nick James & agent Jennifer Rofe – with giveaway

Jessi Kirby twirls for Audition

Shana Silver burns for Circle of Fire

Carrie Harris devours Deadly

Stasia Ward Kehoe travels to The Day Before

Also, check out this behind-the-scenes video of the making of UNDER THE NEVER SKY!

I wish I could say that there was one amazing author, or even a handful that have influenced my writing, but the truth is there are many.  Not just authors either, but movies, shows, people, experiences, feelings and places.  

I’ve been influenced in small and large ways, good and bad.  Every single book I’ve ever read had something to teach me. 

As a teen, I loved the page-turning shock of VC Andrews, the scary thrills of John Saul and the sexy glamor of Jackie Collins.  I gravitated to over the top commercial fiction.  At the same time, I fell in love with Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet.  I was awed by the rich layers of BRAVE NEW WORLD and the emotional truths of ORDINARY PEOPLE. 

Later, I gobbled up romance novels, mysteries, legal thrillers, chick-lit and the occasional quirky literary fiction.  

All of those books influenced my writing.  But what influenced me the most was a boy. 

I met him when I was sixteen.  He had brown hair and the highest cheekbones I’d ever seen.  We were sitting around a table at a party playing quarters.  Our eyes met and held.  There was a spark of something there from the first moment.  Something I’d never felt before.  Something magic.  

I remember the first time he kissed me, in a dark room before he really knew who I was.  It was wild and secret, and it didn’t matter that I didn’t know his name.  I remember the second time he kissed me, when he knew exactly who I was.  It was wilder and it mattered more that it had any right to.  

I remember my heartache as I watched him date a series of girls who were never me.  The thrill when he flashed me a sardonic smile.  I remember deluding myself that having him as a friend was enough.

I remember the moments I almost confessed my heart.  When I was 19, we sat in his car in front of my house, talking about everything and nothing.  There was a moment of silence, and for a second, I thought maybe, but no.  I couldn’t risk sending him away forever.  

And then, finally, the moment I finally told him how I felt.  Eleven years later. 

We had grown up.  It seemed safe to joke about my teenage crush.  Only he didn’t laugh.  His face went white.  He said it was impossible because he had always thought I was the one who wasn’t interested in him.  We were alone in a room full of people.  

It was one of the best and worst moments of my life.

So many missed moments.   

But I’ve found a way to get them back.  On the pages of books.  

My own.

My apologies to all of you who couldn't get past the Flash technology on my teaser trailer, here is the cover in all its simple glory:

Plus the tagline from the back:  In the court of King Henry VIII, who you know can get you in, but who you love can get you killed.

This week's topic is Authors Who Have Influenced Us, but I am traveling for work (See the view from my window in Vermont?) and have asked amazing YA author, Brodi Ashton, to step in for Monday's post. Brodi's book, EVERNEATH, is "a captivating story of love, loss and immortality." Brodi also has her own blog that you should definitely check out! But I have to warn you, her entries are so warm and funny, you'll often find yourself laughing out loud when reading! Thanks, Brodi, for filling in for my while I'm suffering in Vermont :) and welcome to YAMuses.

Below is Brodi's post:
_____________________________________

Trying to narrow down the authors who have influenced me in my life is like trying to pick a favorite piece of Good&Plenty. Impossible. And just like Good&Plenty, the authors who've influenced me the most have a dark, gooey center covered in a candy shell. But not literally.

So, in an effort to keep this to a readable length, I'll focus on the authors who influenced EVERNEATH the most.

The first is the playwright Thornton Wilder, who wrote the play OUR TOWN (among other things too). Now, how does play about characters in a small town in the 1930's living everyday life influence a book about a girl who becomes trapped in a century-long hell of her own making? I'll tell you.

In the third act of the play, the main character Emily gets to relive one day of her life. She chooses her 12th birthday. Before the morning of her re-lived day is even over, she discovers it's too painful to go back to her old life.

I took the "Too painful to go back" theme to heart, and basically wrote a book around it. 17-year old Nikki Beckett has just returned from a mysterious absence. She only has six months before she will disappear again, but she's the only one who knows the clock is ticking. Is it possible to hope she could live those final six months in loving normality among family and friends?

Um... the answer's no. (Spoiler alert!)

The other author who was very influential for my book was Gayle Forman.

EVERNEATH has a very unique timeline, in that it tells a past story and a present story simultaneously. I've never attempted something like this (I am a very disorganized person, so keeping timelines straight was not something I would do on purpose) but the story spoke to me that way. I had a mentor advise me to cut out the flashback scenes, and make it all present. I hesitated, wondering what to do.

My good friend and critique partner Kim Reid gave me Gayle Forman's book IF I STAY right when it first came out. She told me this was a book that used flashbacks and it worked out.

I'd say so. I devoured IF I STAY, and even though I knew I could never reach the level of mastery that Forman displays, it was so reassuring to see someone make it work. It gave me the confidence to stick with what felt like the right way to tell my story.

So, that's why I describe my book as a little bit of IF I STAY mixed with OUR TOWN. With a side of paranormal, and a touch of hell. Mix well for thirty seconds. Bake at 350.

Thanks so much for having me on your awesome blog!!